Miranda

 It’s been a long year, but I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Now that I have a clear mind, I wanted to say a few things. I don’t want you to feel any further guilt, but I would like to think that we both learn something from this.

You were loved immensely, wanted and accepted completely. Things have been hard for you since losing your thyroid, but I thought you felt the same way, so I continued to stay by your side in hopes that we had a future. Even though we do not, I still want you to be happy in life.

Not choosing me was heartbreaking, but the two months that followed were devastating for me. It didn’t need to be that way. In that regard, I did deserve better from you. I didn’t deserve to have my hope dragged by the possibility of a solution. The solution was always there, but you weren’t willing to take it on. Once you had gotten past the worst of it, you became cold and cruel. After being there for you through everything, caring for you as I did, I do not understand why you chose to be so unkind. It is my sincere hope that you do not do this to someone else, especially if they love you as much as I did.

The loss is still there with each day, but I’ve been able to put the bulk of it away. I strongly believe that we both missed out. It is my hope for you, that when you once again feel the urge to love, that you can find someone that loves as fiercely and steadfastly as I do. While I am far from perfect, in that regard people like me are a rarity and worth some sacrifice. For your sake, I hope you recognize that.

I love and miss you still. It doesn’t seem like I have a choice in that, so I will carry it with me as I move on. It is my hope that one day, I will be able to talk with you freely, without any feelings of pain or discomfort. Until that day, I hope that life treats you kindly.